Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forgiveness. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

More About Goddesses: My Encounter with the Benevolent Mother--Ma Durga (Essay)

More About Goddesses: My Encounter with the Benevolent Mother--Ma Durga (Essay) by Tim Kavi


Although there are different manifestations of  the Hindu goddess Ma Durga, such as Lakshami, Parvati, and Durga herself , it is my encounter with Ma Durga as a mother figure that has made a lasting impression upon me.

For as she gathers those that need help in her arms of compassion, and leads them gently from times of trouble, her caring is so apparent. For it is as a gentle mother and caring one that She leads me to safety and protection that resonates so deeply within me again and again. For as we humans well know, we needn't go looking for troubles, sometimes they will find us!  Never do we need the touch and care of a friend more, a companion, a brother or sister in dialogue--the caring of family and loved ones--as it is then that the gentle leading of the archetypal Mother Goddess is ever needed!

And thank goodness, when called upon She arises, and gathers us in Her arms.  And yet, She does not wait to be called upon--for like any good Mother she responds to our distress.

Her eyes are certainly seeking, searching, and settling upon those in times of trouble, they are gentle, reassuring, and if need be, drawing us to attention.

Her smile is as the dripping honey on the lotus.  She warms the hearts of all India, and the world.

This tiger riding Goddess is the ultimate mother!

Several years ago, I had a deeply meaningful and especially vivid dream about Ma Durga.  I  knew right away in my dream who she was and what the dream was about.  I could tell the woman in the dream was Ma Durga because of her attire, her Goddess face, and those eyes that only Ma Durga has!

Anyway, in this dream that I readily recalled upon sudden awakening at its conclusion, the events went like this.  I entered a supermarket, and I felt like I was lost from someone, or had gone ahead of someone.  But I also felt ashamed, like I was 'in trouble', or had done something that I felt 'stupid' about. Sort of like a kid who had done something wrong, but didn't want his parents to know. I was a grown man in the dream however.

So I went down the shopping aisles filled with all sorts of foods and plenty of them. I came upon the glass enclosed cold storage units, the units where they keep frozen packaged products like pizzas, ice cream, frozen dinners, etc.  Well, I climbed up on top of one of these units, and laid down flat on my back. I laid down as flat as I could, so as not to be readily or easily seen by anyone who might enter the store or was walking nearby. From where I was, I could turn my head and see the main entry of the store however.

So for some reason, I turned my head towards the entry doors. It was if I was waiting for someone, anticipating someone coming, but I didn't know for sure who it would be.

Suddenly, I saw Ma Durga come through the doors.  She was walking towards my location! I tried to melt into the metal of the casing so as not to be seen. But there was to be no hiding, as she lovingly approached.  She was a fully radiant being, and was smiling as she approached, her eyes taking in everything around her. As she came closer, she grew and magically became taller.  As she got to where I was, she was now taller than the enclosures, and easily saw me.

She looked at me with so much love and acceptance, my heart melted. It was if her eyes could see everything about me, accepted me, forgave all my troubles, or made them all vanish in the manifestation of Her power. In that one look, was all this and much more instantaneously. Love, acceptance, forgiveness, reassurance.

She calmly put her hands on her hips, looked into my eyes with her Ma Durga Eyes, and She said: "Well, are you coming? Get down from there and follow me!"  

I hopped down and immediately left with her out of the store with all of its materialism and wealth, and happily followed Her.  The joy and relief was enormous! I then awoke with a start.

This dream deeply resonated with me, although I knew I was a mature man in the dream, her loving approach to me elicited both a son like sense, and also a childlike sense.  I knew I had done something, and felt like I might be in trouble.  So I was trying hard to hide from 'Mom'.

Still, when Ma Durga 'found' me, I was overcome by several feelings at once, love, acceptance, and reassurance. I expected wrath, but got deep love. I also knew I was totally safe with her, protected, and that all my troubles were solved and no longer as important as I had thought they were. So I was eager and readily able to hop down and follow her out of the store.  Happily returning to everyday life and then, transcending the world, protected by the Goddess, I suddenly awoke with this realization deeply embedded in my consciousness.

It was a wonderful experience, and although some people think dreaming is just the firing of neurons, that dream was one of the most meaningful dreams I've ever had.~~TK

Poet's afterword:  Later, I wrote a poem called Ma Durga's Eyes.  Although it could never capture the true magnificence of Her eyes, it is a step in that direction. It is one of the most popular poems on my blog and can be read here: Ma Durga's Eyes (the poem)

Also, as I write this, the significance of the calendar in regards to Ma Durga cannot be overlooked.  We are just now in the beginning of the Hindu holiday, Navratri, also known as Durga Puja, where all over India and the world,  Ma Durga is celebrated in her various manifestations across Nine Nights of  bliss. ~~TK

And now it is April 2013, and we are on the eve of Vasant Navratri again and as India, Indians, and Hindus all over the world prepare to celebrate Nine Nights of Celebrations of Goddesses; I am again reminded of my blog entries about the Goddess, Ma Durga.  Including (not linked last time) my newer "More About Goddesses column that features Mahadevi Durga .~~TK

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

My Short Story 'American Crow' is Published

My Short Story: American Crow has been published by TiLu Press and is available for Kindle and Kindle apps by clicking on the link below.

I hope you enjoy this story, that I enjoyed writing and getting ready for you. I think it is an interesting 'Fairy Tale of Urban Decay' that describes events that transpire when two older men encounter two young thugs on a repeated basis. Among the mayhem and Chaos, BillyBob, a seemingly omniscient black crow looks upon the events with great interest. The result is a song of redemption that only he can sing!


American Crow

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Waiting for Your Appearing (New Poem)





Waiting For Your Appearing
by Tim Kavi

faraway lands you stepped on
traveled across seas
landscapes you danced like the gazelle,
and your footsteps are approaching
the sounds of your coming filled the hall

anticipating your return
all the world stood waiting

dont be caught sleeping the gatekeeper said
Her guardians will leave you dead!

I prayed your garments would not be those worn in war
I know you carried heads on your belt
I don't want to be another notch in your conquest
through war

but I only call to you in love
speak soft words to your gentle wind
kissing you only with permission
and only whenyou want it, then too much

for my devotion to you is not wanting
no mystery is there
see these poems I write?
I cannot stop

seeking you
staring at the path
walking it but without you
I dare not

spare me is ever a persistent thought!

for history keeps unfolding
in new patterns of meaning
drunken men are scheming your demise
drunk with power and blood
and greed

they see you not
black night -- Kalaratri
when you come in dark surprise
your armies are swifter than they

but today you return in your greatness
I stay off in the corner
with my head bowed and praying

I seek forgiveness and redemption
please, I am just saying
remember me in love
forgiveness and peaceful reassuring

gentle mother Goddess
I await your peaceful appearing
redeemed in your love.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Masks of the Goddess: Returning from War (New Poem)

Masks of the Goddess: Returning from War
by Tim Kavi


Masks of the Goddess
concealed You
I realized that every one
was the revealed You
real and true


uttered silence
not raising the head
pilgrims prostrated
on the consuming hill


path to your vision
to your purpose
blinded to your will


but seeking in faith
glimpses of You
the road winds upwards
straight and out of sight


climbing a ladder
into the freezing
clouds of delight


there is only silence 
in the chilly night


dancing there
flowing blindly
getting a faint view


the raining tears
of sorrow's calling
wanting to gather her young
too many are missing
killed by the death that war had brung


the tears
fall down from heaven
or was it the misty
mountaintop?
impossible to reach?


it seems too far to go
carry me somehow
on your bridal wings


my weapons fall from my belt
there is nothing in them anymore
they are dull and stained too red


my hands too dirty
my heart too callused
my hair too matted
my beard unshaven
long and flapping in the wind

my heart carries the wounds of those recently dead
my Goddess I had forgotten what you said
I could not show compassion
their smell reaches up here


forgive me my schemes born in war
my heart won in fear
my wounds deeper than bullet holes


deceived me took my soul
this death is evil's whore


I am lost and alone
do not know my way back
but must soon descend


hope you forgive me
and love me
I will come home soon.